Further summer vacation

While in Rochester we visited the George Eastman House and took the guided tour of the mansion. The docent who led our particular tour commented to me privately that she was surprised at my reaction when I heard that Eastman had committed suicide. I winced because that is my reaction to suicide. It is an act that I truly hate. I hope that my words never jump up and bite me on the butt. I can understand why people who are in terrible pain take their own lives. However, the act itself seems so totally self-centered that I cannot understand their justifications.

George Eastman killed himself at age 77. He was very likely suffering from spinal stenosis which gave him a shuffling gait. He had some difficulty descending the staircase at his home. He could no longer go on safari. One detail that the docent did not mention was that it was 1932, the height of the Great Depression, when few of his friends could afford to amuse themselves as lavishly as they had previously and I am sure that this led to Eastman's own great depression. He wrote a note stating that his work was done so why wait.

I think that I may have at least a partial answer to that question. Why wait? Waiting is a major part of the human condition. We wait for so many good things. One waits nine months to see a new life begin; we wait for birthdays, holidays, visits with loved ones, vacations. Why not wait for death? Death is a sad occasion for those who love us but hopefully not for the person who has departed. Even for those who do not believe in an after-life, death is a release from pain, whether psychic or physical. It is worth the wait.

The other side of waiting for death rather than precipitating its occurrence is that one cannot know what will happen next. Telling a child about how things were when we were children helps to teach history and to continue our culture. Story telling of this kind can be done most effectively by the old because we have the longest experience from which to draw memories. At the same time, we can continue to create memories by experiencing everything possible. I may not wish to jump from an airplane but I can enjoy a roller coaster ride or a trip to a new place.

Even if I do not particularly enjoy all of my experiences, recounting them may change some one's life.

Many years ago a 9th grade art teacher told my class that while most of us had no talent, anyone could learn to draw and to appreciate art. She also told us that getting a C in her class was perfectly fine, as long as we gave it our all. No one had ever given me permission to be imperfect before and I have held onto what she said for the rest of my life. I would never have been able to realize this fundamental truth if that elderly woman had decided that her life's work had already been accomplished and she did not need to wait for death. Death is worth waiting for because life is worth living. Peace.